Art School Enrollment Pillows

Picasso: The Early Years

The Art Student.

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

Garrett knew it was important to jeep his brain from overheating during big tests.

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

Just call me Picasso!

'I don't care if Jackson Pollock did start out this way. We are drawing kittens.'

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

'Hold everything! -- The National Endowment for the Arts changed its mind!'

School of Art & Design. Looks like they're putting up an addition.

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

Vincent Van Og.

German School

Now I'll open up the floor to questions and batsh*t crazy rants.

'Is this any way to treat a budding genius?'

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

"I think my mom made me a tofu sandwich."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"Billy is turning out to be quite the little artist."

"He had the Guggenheim in mind, I think."