Art Restorers Mugs

Spanish Art restorers to be regulated after botched jobs

Larry's used art

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

'The BOSS sent me down to help rebuild your faith.'

"I think he was a celebrity."

'It's genuine 17th century satsuma - and the pair would have been worth ?14,000.'

Misunderstood artist

'Are you sure this is authentic ancient Indian art?'

'I highly recommend this painting if you're interested in art as an investment.'

'We finished all the repairs in the cafeteria kitchen this morning, but the food still tastes lousy.'

Sold! For £42,000 to the... No wait - it's the wrong way round!

'It was restored just last year, and changed from an abstract painting to a landscape.'

Curators at the Louvre Museum would regret approving the installation of a work on a wall behind the Mona Lisa.

'Today, the dollar gained against the euro, pound, yen, yuan, the Picasso, Degas, and the Warhol.'

'...So you claim this is genuine Rembrandt?'

'... Going once...going twice...aaaand--sold! To the gentleman in the front row for a thousand words.'

"It may well be a hugely significant example of early 18th century Flemish art...but as head of merchandising I have to ask 'What would it look like on a fridge magnet?'"

'Anti-Graffito' worker about to erase hieroglyphics.

Fumes from furniture

Inventor of the Tudor spirit-level

"It's called 'Sold'."

'Great to see the ol' museum is finally getting a face-lift.' An old building getting a medical face-lift

"The keep saying unrestored and what a nice PATINA, Ted. A better-sounding word for old tarnished stuff would be SCRINCH or SKRITCH, don't you think, eh, Ted?"

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

'Poor thing. He got left out in the acid rain.'

Less is more.

Free Artist with Each Purchase

"Here we have an all natural rock – before being artistically processed and stripped of its natural richness."

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'I can't tell the kitch from the schlock any more.'

'I can't draw', Permanent Market on Canvas $10,975 - SOLD.

"He's a hunter-gatherer-tinkerer-fixer-upper-restorer-reseller."

Artists at an Exhibition

"I detect an accent – money?"

"Big deal! My digital picture frame can hold a thousand pictures!"