Art Lessons T-Shirts

How to draw a puppy!

'Yeah, little brother, cut and paste is great, but you miss out on the experience of eating the paste.'

"Your painting is both original and good. Sadly, the good bits are not original and the original bits are not good."

'On your mark. Get set. Create!'

“She’s in her abstract expressionism phase.”

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

Paul Klee

The Artist

'I'm in my Blue period.'

He kept up his guitar practise...

'It's my homage to Picasso.' (Snowman is all mixed up with eyes and nose in odd places)

"I don't think I can express what I have to say in just colored paper and glue."

Instructional guide to scribbling

Children's artwork exhibition.

'Hi, Miss Henderson, we did collage in class today. Can you drive me home?'

"Mother, I think I'm good enough to exhibit on the living room walls now."

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

Van Gogh was starting to run out of gift ideas.

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"In the beginning, God created, like, 300 concept sketches..."

"You're welcome."

'Projectile painting.'

Cat with Nine Still Lives

It's a call from Tate modern.

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

"I was drawing a whale, but I ran out of paper."

Misunderstood artist

"You're my Mona Lisa."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."