Art Class Attendee T-Shirts

The Art Student.

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

The Artist

"I would like a tube of lemon yellow, cadmium red, cobalt blue, ivory, black, and zinc white, a sixteen-by-twenty canvas, a couple of brushes, and that book 'Painting in Oils'."

"I'm afraid you were drawn too big and not centered on the page."

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Projectile painting.'

Just call me Picasso!

"Don't worry, Miss. I'll soon get the hang of it."

"The Leonardos, the Raphaels, Titians, Veroneses, Giottos... Italy wants them back, all 427 of them."

"So, Sandra, what can you tell us about your lovely mood board?"

"Judging by the number of 'Polar Bear in snowstorm' paintings the class seems apprehensive using color."

How to draw a martian!

Sorry, I've said all I can say in this medium.

'Miss Donahue would give him an F.'

'Look. Billy Curry did a nude!'

German School

'How can they call it modern art when it's 100 year's old?'

"I like it, honey ... it speaks to what a waste of time your MFA was."

'Every child is an artist but it appears your Candice is a plumber.'

Cartooning 101: Figure Drawing

"I'm not an Antony Gormley, I am Antony Gormley."

Art Plagiarism

'I've been told I have Rembrandt's golden glow.'

Children's imagination

Cubism Model

"I know your dad's a hedge fund manager, Amber, but you don't need a bigger piece of paper to draw a picture of your house."

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"I could do that."