Art And Decor Aficionado Mugs

"The painting and pillows were his idea. The scratches were mine."

You're my Mona Lisa.

"Ironically, this is the living room."

Copycats

I've been teaching art history for decades. Students today ask new kinds of questions. No, I doubt a gluten-free menu option was available that evening. Nope, the artist was not making a statement about climate change. No, despite the umbrellas, this is not about sun exposure safety. Well, yes, I suppose you can say it's a selfie.

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

Paul Klee

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Doctor examining Easter Island statue.

Cariactures

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Will you have a Sphinx?"

"Welcome to Off-Off-Off Broadway."

(Camel paintings)

'Of all the nerve!...Making us sit through the whole of their Bayeux Tapestries!!'

German Expressionist Breakfast

"Mr. Right!"

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Lautrec or Gary? Hmmm... We'll take Gary."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Horti-Culture

Distractions Of The Great

"An unfortunate museum gift shop." "Banksy activity set." "Jackson Pollock coloring book." "MC Escher building blocks." "Claes Oldenburg miniatures." "Marceau Marceau CDs." "Seurat's connect-the-dots aaAAAAA."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Baroque Peacock

'Some days I just feel so stuck in a rut that I wish I'd never been invented!'

"You're my Mona Lisa."

Great works I plan to complete during the lockdown.

"The derby is better. That makes you look like Abraham Lincoln."

Spring Training

"And that's General Ambrose T. Spangler. He died in the Great Mustache Fire of 1897."