Armchair Chef T-Shirts

'Behold. Ed and Jim have finally reached nirvana.'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Sausages.

"Isn't it great to get out of the kitchen and cook in the fresh air!"

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'Your fancy new grill works great. . .and we didn't even have to turn it on.'

Too much cilantro

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

Ode to a Grill

"He won't stop and ask for directions when he COOKS, either."

"You like yours well done, right?"

'Why do I need to clean the fish? -- Didn't you just take them out of the WATER?'

"Hey, …. what's not to like?"

'The TZ90C with triple boosted propane burners and a titanium mesh grill with carbon fibre casings is the only way to guarantee that genuine back to nature outdoor flavour.'

"Can we set the flame to a medium high?"

'Dear, you can't blame this on global warming...you overcooked the fish.'

'I made your favorite for dinner — pterodactyl nuggets!'

"Your meal sounded nice."

'Your wife wants to know if she should get a new propane tank for the barbecue.'

'10,000 years and no one's improved on the idea of meat on a stick!'

Tzatzikicicle

I love the way barbecues take you back to nature.

'She's not very good. She only did three revolutions and her air wasn't all that much.'

"Just one more outburst and I can have this chicken tenderized."

'Enjoy your meal - but be warned we have a very bad tempered chef.'

"We get all our meat from a man dressed like a butcher."

'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'Fire the coach'...'

Cat Cooking Bird.

'You want to see a list of ingredients? -- Are you trying to make trouble?'

'Which channel would you like to tut at tonight?'

"Who like 'em well done?"

'Propane ran out.'