Ark Builder Pillows

'Be sure to take along a pooper-scooper so you can comply with any pet waste laws that may exist where you land.'

'I'm building an ark because the polar ice caps are melting.'

Flood.

"Yes. I said 2 by 2, but you needed to use 2 by 4s for the Ark...begin again."

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"Maybe the next one will be a singles cruise."

Painting by the numbers for adults

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How many studio apartment construction projects did you say you'd worked on before?'

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"Measure twice, cut once...and curse three times!"

'I found the termites!'

"We're having one heck of a time building that trapezoidal thing of yours..."

Another All Steel Home Built By Wit Construction.

God's Subcontractors

"It was a holiday I'll never forget...I saw life in the raw!"

"Well, yes, it's not what you would call a practical nest, but my wife insisted on using an architect..."

'The housing market may be flat, but pillow-fort construction is blooming!'

"It's cool – God told us to!"

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

"Steady. This is going to be so sweet."

Name one serious woodworker who doesn't use state of the art kit. Thomas Chippendale.

"I've told you before one at each end!"

'I'd say it's six of one and one half doxen of the other.'

'Luxury cruise you said!'

Crane operator Jimmy Morrison liked to break in new guys by giving them what he called a 'sky wedgie.'

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

There is nothing more satisfying that peeling the film off a brand new building.

'Say baby - 'come live with me and be my love, and we will all the pleasures prove, that valleys, groves, hills and fields,woods or steepy mountain yields' - Marlowe.'

'I like it but frankly, I had something more substantial in mind.'

"It's the Environment's Agency's new H.Q."