Architecture Critics T-Shirts

"What an eyesore - I'd make the damn architect live in 'em."

Hollywood Sign Developers

You're my Mona Lisa.

'It's called 'Oh Bugger It!' if you must know!'

"I think that's one of his early 'blank canvases'. I think there are some bigger ones in the next room."

"You've got a long, long road ahead of you, young man."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Wolf Danny With "Random""The work must be tantamount to mayhem. Making an insatiable public confused, indifferent, annoyed—this is the premise on which rests my deliberately vacuous oeuvre."

'The way the eyes follow you is uncanny.'

"Like I could date a guy from Notre Dame."

"It's a postmodern mosaic, almost lyrical in its undercurrent." "My five-year-old will be happy to hear that."

"What the %@!!* is that?!" "Is that a leg? Wait—no, it's an arm. Wait—what?" "The frame is nice." "Whatever it is, it makes me miss Bob Ross." "Gasp!" "The intentionally lost Caravaggio"

Use your imagination.

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"Well....I could've done this!"

'It's a Joan Biro.'

"Personally, I'm a doer."

"I may not know much about art, but I do know what's suitable for framing."

Kritik's Korner

'Projectile painting.'

"Is it me, or is Jasper Johns a genius?" "Über-genius, Larry. Über!"

Mr. Empirical With "Antarctica""Small is hostile. Rage contributes to shift away from literality. I'm off to True Value Hardware for some more self-reference tools."

Schools of Art - A Rough Guide.

'Wow...Your work is amazing!'

Couple Sitting in Front of A Sunset.

'I don't care what the blueprints say, I'm certain HE strongly suggested a roof.'

'I can make out the nude, but I don't see the submarine.'

'I imagine you'll be asking for a full refund.'

'I just love this work from his macaroni period,'

Framed Lady

A Footnote - Self Portrait of Beardsley, Bound to the God of Nature

Jackson Pollock: abstract; Picasso: cubism; Bobby: eight year old

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'Nice, but it needs more angst.'

"I was going to call it 'Empty Plinth', but then I settled on 'Winter's Smile'...I wanted to capture the 'nothingness' of an 'absence of anything'..."