Aquarium Advocate Pillows

"Dave. When did you last feed the goldfish?"

'Ladies... gentlemen... I imagine you're all wondering why you've been invited to this think tank.'

Horror movies

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

Piranhaclaus

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Pets.

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

"Just water for me, please."

'I wish I was creative'

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Lap fish..."

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'So what have you been up to?'

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

Pet Store: Clown Fish.