Aquarium Advocate Pillows

"Dave. When did you last feed the goldfish?"

'Ladies... gentlemen... I imagine you're all wondering why you've been invited to this think tank.'

Horror movies

Piranhaclaus

Boy bringing home an octopus in a fish bowl.

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

"I have to refill it everyday. He has a tendency to retain water."

Pets.

'Hmphh. Happy as clams, indeed. They're just all on Prozac.'

'This fish isn't tank broken - I want a refund!'

"I think it loves us."

"Well, this isn't really going anywhere if you don't like public displays of affection."

"Just water for me, please."

'I wish I was creative'

"I'd love to help out but I'm barely keeping my head below water now."

"Lap fish..."

"Please, Al. You know the backstroke scares the children."

'Don't you have a better escape plan than that?'

Fish Posting No Fishing Sign

"What are you talking about? We don’t even have a toilet seat!"

'So what have you been up to?'

"I wish someone would come and turn the vibrating buzzer off on that mobile phone!"

'I'm tired of this bread and water diet.'

'Too bad we're not pay-per-view.'

Goldfish evolution - "...it's called evolution and it means in a few years we'll walk right out that door."

'As I grow older and I reflect back on it, I'm kind of sorry we ate all the kids!'

'The 79 cent fish ate the $2.50 fish - shall I charge him $3.29 for it now?'

"After we bought the aquarium, the pump, gravel, grass and heater, we couldn't afford any fish."

"We have to get out of here! They're saying boil ALL water!"

Taking goldfish for a walk.

'I haven't been able to go to sleep in this new bowl.'

'...and another thing - why do I always have to sleep in the wet spot?'

"We'll go out for a quiet candlelight dinner, slowdance on the beach to the music of Barry White, then make love in a warm, cozy bed!"

'Bad news! More people are switching from red meat to fish!'