April Fools Pillows

'Wait! Wait a minute! Would you hold my glasses?'

'The copier's died on me. Can you send a replacement?'

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"Bob bought 500 pounds of noodles, rice and canned meat. . . he survived the corona quarantine but now he's dead of intestinal obstruction..."

'Is it okay to put my credit card payment on my credit card?'

"I want to compliment you on your work- tell me when you do some."

Oh no, it's some kind of mass grave

Gas Bill

"He's been a victim of a crime known as 'personality theft'."

Soldier watering his camouflage.

The secret to losing weight.

IRS No more waterboarding at audits.

'Thanks for helping me out with this prank - I just love freaking out people!'

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Dinosaur extinction

'But my earnings were just PEANUTS!'

'It's so frustrating -- all our coupons are expiring!'

'Menswear...menswear...'

'When you can spare a few minutes, Bromwell, I'd like to discuss those tranquilizers your doctor has you on.'

'Attack of the dreaded PANTSING sharks!'

'What do you want first - The bad news or the even badder news?'

"Thor! I am Thor! Ha. Just kidding. I'm Tom the Seagull."

Online form - Submit.

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to well, pie.'

'Enjoy your meal! We grow everything ourselves!'

Smart Ass - Wise Ass

Man painting over a 'You are here' sign.

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"They're wearing cameras. How humiliating."

Clown on bike.

Here and There Trays

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'