Aphorisms Pillows

Life suddenly gave lemons to Bob, a detroit engineer. Sadly, Bob did not have a chance to make lemonade.

"Nation-building never works."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

'WD-40 un-sticks things that should move and duct tape makes things that shouldn't move, stop.'

''Raining cats and dogs' is just a phrase, Alix.'

"National Metaphor Day by the looks of it."

Macbeth: Take Two

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

Man selling 'pearls of wisdom'.

"See what you get for thinking outside the fishbowl!"

Guru. It's not some kind of zen metaphor --- I really do have an invisible fence!

"I'm the bluebird of low expectations."

'Stick and Carrot Business Incentive Consultants.'

'So push has come to shove...'

'And remember: just hold up this little green paper, and they will do whatever you want.'

"More aphorisms, please!"

'Not as easy as it looks?"

'Relax! I just read somewhere that 142 pounds is the new 125!'

People who meet in Heaven: Ben Franklin and Yogi Berra. I've always admired you aphorisms.

'I connected a food processor to my computer, in case I have to eat my words.'

Grasslands Preserve. I understand it's difficult to domesticate buffalo. Yes --- they can be seen but not herded.

'This is the eight hundred and sixty-seventh day of my captivity - How about you?'

'Don't worry. I've got your back.'

"It's a nice story, Mr. Fergus, but why do you always write in the passive voice?" "I suppose because I've been a taxpayer all my life."

"Well, it looks like the shit finally hit the fan. So, who wants to lick the blades?"

Metaphors.

'It's too late to copyright 'Have a nice day.''

Today Ernie will try to guess these cliches being demonstrated by celebrities. Here's characters from the TV show "The Big Bang Theory." Ouch! That's Sheldon and Penny. The cliche is "Penny Pincher." This photo of the 2008 World Champion Philadelphia Phillies is sliced right up to the second baseman. Chase Utley --- The photo is "cut to the chase." A comedian with a career spanning decades is being covered with gold. Lily Tomlin --- "Gilding the Lily"! And this "Pirates of the Caribbean

Two plugged in lovers try to reach each other, and in doing so, become unplugged.

"It's true! I heard this Bedouin boy calling us "ships of the desert". What on earth is a ship?"

The corner that Spring's around

Are you familiar with the phrase "demography is destiny"?

'This citation is for finally making that U-Turn in your life.'

"I came by my wisdom the hard way. I wrote fortune cookie copy for thirty years."

If you're still not suffering fools gladly in two weeks, we'll up the dosage.