Antisocial Adventurer Pillows

'Make yourselves at home. I'm right here, in the panic room.'

"There are easier ways to get time to yourself, Ed."

Club Antisocial

"To be honest, I don't mind the cold, and being an introvert, and slightly antisocial, I really treasure the quiet time when the others have flown south..."

"Now you can send it."

"No, nothing wrong. Just a great excuse for not 'noticing' some folks."

"Water balloons... water balloons..."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

"...it's another metal detector."

"I'm feeling adventurous today, Penny – let's tack on a block."

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Look! I can almost spot the bar I should be in right now!"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

"You have got to want to change."

'I wish I'd never seen Lost, now.'

"Autumn already? O.K., I'll come down."

"What do you mean, 'There can be no ethics without fear of God'?! Look at me - all ethical and shit!"

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"Ed Lowry: Worst hunter ever"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

"Ice rink"

"The British are probably coming, but it's been a busy week and they aren't feeling a hundred per cent and they'll text later."

"To be perfectly frank, I much prefer the solitude of the desert to the busy city life..."

Voice of GPS: 'Recalculating...'

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

'You are on a sickie you skiving little...'

'These blinders help block out banner ads.'

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

"You're here to discuss sin, aren't you, sir?"

"Seriously? 'It is what it is', that's it?"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'Look on the bright side. At least we'll have one hell of a tan.'