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Fresh Antioxidants

Jack of all trades

The Computer Bore

"In twenty seconds, our crew will be traveling fast enough to escape the Earth’s problems."

"This is my new country song I wrote about my self-driving truck leaving me..."

"Relax. I just had a vitamin."

"It was better before God took up knitting."

"Where's the business end of this thing?"

'Let's see here... Mr. Stevens... it says you slipped in the tub and hit your head.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

"Winter is coming, and there will be months without much sunshine, so it's important that you take your vitamin D supplement Darling..."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I give up. Where's the power button?"

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

Bob invents a device that electrically shocks anyone who calls between 11 p.m. and 7 a.m.

Devil's food cake/Angel's food cake. Delivery mix-up.

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

Early cyborg.

"We can't Sunday. We've been invited to 'you know who's' skybox."

STRIP Hambone: Fix it yourself

'It's not for myself, you understand."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

"Nice epic battle between good and evil!"

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

The Not-So Smart Meter

'Okay, found you. Now let's open the 'Review' link...'

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'I'm being sent back. I told you I have a great attorney.'

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Congratulations on your retirement!

"You are running low on cloud storage space. Please upgrade your account to continue."

"Was that my pager or yours?"