Anti-theft Gadget Fan T-Shirts

"Here, let me take that for you."

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

'A-1 security from crime ... but can't stand the isolation.'

'I'm sorry sir, but that slide rule exceeds the allowable length for a sharp object, unless, of course, you can manage to fold it.'

"I think we're named after computer passwords."

With the Inflatable Pocket Potty, you'll never have to wait in line again at the stadium.

'Stand back!...She's cleared out three local stores in the last year.'

'Very impressive resume... new printer?'

"We don't need facial recognition for our long-term employees. We just match their butts to the seat of their chair."

Godzilla's Security Question

Putin and some Russian hackers

Man looking at window with beware of attack bird sign.

Remote Toaster

"She has to find just the right spot."

Dave wanted to make sure that he'd be able to blow out all the candles on his cake.

Solar powered sunbed.

"It's nice, but not quite the electric car I was hoping for."

Silhouettes

A blue dog wearing headphones

Something keeps shorting out my bug zapper. Maybe it's lightning bugs!

We know your e-mail address!

"When did the flies around here start getting tiny little airbags?"

'Good evening!! I'm doing a survey on home security!!'

"Can I see some I.D. - not that security doesn't already have you pegged."

'I give it three, maybe four innings before the other team complains and we get a call from the commissioner.'

"I understand your concern, but you don't have to wear that suit when getting on a public website. That's not how germs are spread."

"Sorry, guys, but it only opens for my paw print."

'Now that's what I call a guard dog.'

Betty liked to use safety glasses

'It's like a regular pair of pants, but they have asbestos pockets so money won't burn a hole in them.'

"I'm looking for a sense of security and piece of mind in a short-recoil-operated, single-action semiautomatic."

'This chap's been through every day since we got the new scanners.'

Air Bag.

'I lost my cell phone three days ago and I'm still stuck in text mode.'

Miracle Diet Fork