Anti-bureaucrat Pillows

"In a cost-cutting measure, Trump eliminated the federal program to eliminate federal programs."

He may have a PH.D in elementary particle physics, but he's having an awful lot of trouble with the application form.

Quality Control

Tug of Negotiation and Conciliation.

'I want to claim for black marker pens.'

"They found a use for that old paper shredder."

The Buck Never Stops.

"How long were you in the waiting room?"

We're transferring you to company headquarters so you can kiss company hindquarters.

'...And they're giving us sixty million years to get in compliance.'

Bureaucracy gone mad!

"If I've got to work for a tyrant . . . I may as well work for myself."

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Welcome! Highly placed, unidentified administration spokespersons convention.'

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

Doctor surrounded by notes.

Welcome to a parallel universe. It's like 50 years ago, man. Coffee costs a quarter, tie-dye is groovy, there is a draft. Lots of differences: Free love, man. Corporations are evil. And some similarities. Joy is a new 8-track player. Shut yer #@$% yapper!

'It's a government funded study to find out how many wrongs make a right.'

'I'm not authorized to talk about that...I'll have to patch you through to our department of unspeakable evil.'

'It's not so much the distance to your proposed mini-mall site, but that I'm not as familiar with your galaxy's zoning laws as I'd like to be.'

"Fill out all these highly intrusive forms...we can't wait!"

"What's this? Now we have to hunt, gather and collate?"

How many workers does it take to put up a Christmas decoration?

"You have a valid social security number, a photo ID, and a credit score. As far as I'm concerned, you exist."

Policeman giving paramedics a fine.

GPs could be forced to switch IT systems onto new NHS digital contract

IN, OUT, NOT WORTH THE EFFORT.

"We appreciate your insights Norman but the firm has reached the stage where we need actual ideas."

Why the Egyptians stopped building the pyramids.

'There were some cost overruns on the project that we need to discuss.'

'So, you're a little Hitler? You're hired.'

'The trouble with you doctors is that you don't really understand what the NHS is for.'

"This is to apologise for the delay in internal mail that you wrote to us about in 1997"

"Hello, department of pointless endeavors and redundant futility."

'What do you mean the FDA is going to start regulating the use of eyes of Newts?'