Anthropology T-Shirts

"I'm a social scientist, Michael. That means I can't explain electricity or anything like that, but if you ever want to know about people I'm your man."

"Nothing is funny. We're just having a good laugh."

The Invention of Religion: 'Ok, here's how it works...first, you never question anything I tell you...'

"And to help you spearhead the new office efficiency drive I'm giving you this atlatl."

'We have one hunter and one gatherer... Everyone else is a consultant.'

'I'm telling you Thog, we're living in a golden age for culture.'

"Now that I have prefrontal cortex, I worry about everything."

'How can we prevent preganancy? We don't even know what causes it.'

'I've got a better idea. How 'bout you stop by the temple tomorrow, and WE can teach YOU how to live a life of sacrifice.'

Easter and Passover Island

"You're doing it again, using anthropology to avoid discussing our relationship"

"When you grow up would you rather be a Hunter or Gatherer?"

"If you ask me, the fire has the most potential, but it's the smoke that has people talking."

"What's with kids nowadays? Walking upright's not good enough for you?"

'Misanthropology.'

'I'm not much of a hunter or gatherer. I'm more of a borrower.'

'Hitting each other over the head with clubs may not be perfect, but it's the best system anybody's come up with so far.'

'I don't know about you, but I like the lumpy ones!'

".. of all the animal species, I reckon the human must be nearest to us in intelligence."

'Tell me more about this globalisation.'

"Enough with the low-hanging fruit. How about some slow-moving meat?"

"Well, if it isn't the dawn of civilization."

'Don't be offended. It's their customary greeting.'

Cavemen and taxation

'This is the age of specialisation - you can't be a hunter AND a gatherer.'

'These are humans. Normally they are quite harmless, but if you touch their food or make fun of their beliefs they can become VERY aggressive.'

"I don't know. I'm something of a technophobe."

'Yes, I agree that equal pay for equal work is an idea that we should DEFINITELY think about.'

'Hunch your shoulders, Son.'

The Bronze Age of Television

Early birthday parties.

'After years of studying the apes I've finally found a way of being accepted into their group.'

'You seldom see such traditional family values these days.'

'I'm going on a fact-finding mission at great personal risk to a land of strange beliefs and alarming rituals. It's called 'beyond the beltway.''

"You remind me of myself - you know - a while ago."