Ant Storyteller T-Shirts

"Behold! The creator of crumbs made this crumb from an even bigger crumb!"

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'She's just great with the children.'

Ghost School.

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

"This is so fun - I've been wagging my tail so much my cheeks hurt!"

Building Sandcastles.

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"There's a cure—but it's light-years away."

'Well, the rent is a bit more expensive than usual because there are only 1 327 482 other tenants...'

'Watch your step. I lost my footing on these dang paving stones.'

'On the face of it, it sounds great that she left me her house, but it has gone stale and what Hansel and Gretel didn't eat the birds have had a go at.'

Employee of the month.

"I don't know. He just said he had discovered something and we had to come over and see it."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

Eurydice in prison

'Things haven't been the same since the alien abduction.'

"I'm the ghost of Christmas Tree Future, and honestly, it doesn't turn out well for you."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

'Don't believe everything you read.'

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"I feel like we're finally making progress."

"It's the dog."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

'No, the Tower of Babel wasn't built for better phone reception.'

Ant Drones

'This is going to be good. He's sitting on an ant hill.'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"It always amazes me how extremely simple creatures, with no capacity for communication, can achieve the appearance of joint decision-making."

"If this doesn't distract him, Ulysses, we'll go with the sheep idea."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'