Annoying Sibling Mugs

Last night I took monkey to see King Kong. Now he's obsessed. With what? He's trying to save the girl. What girl? From what? Darlene. I think he's trying to save her from the thing that's killing her. Stop eating my work projects.

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

At the Museum

'I didn't do my homework because I forgot my user name and password.'

'Hey Einstein, how about converting some of your mass into energy and getting this place cleaned up?'

Likes: $2.

'No hair or teeth, can't walk or talk -- he's kind of a starter kit.'

Boy and Bear and Monster

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

"I have a recurring nightmare that I've taken a test, and the professor won't give me an 'A'."

"Isn't it an amazing co-incidence that this is an orange, and it IS ORANGE?"

Toy plane with pilot eject.

"You're never a superhero in your own backyard."

'Off hand I'd say she needs re-stuffing.'

"I sincerely hope you learned a lesson this time, Mark. Drawing cartoons on your homework will get you nowhere in life."

'Rock.' - 'Paper.' - 'Boris.'

'Not just my homework - The dog chewed up my whole LAPTOP!'

"First snowman?"

"You can build it with me, but you can't wreck it with me."

"It's not my fault! The Russians must have hacked my brain!"

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"It's an Eyesaur."

'Nope. I didn't see any dogfish.'

What do you want, the moon on a stick?

'Larry liked to crack the window before bed.'

"I don't care if you saw this in a western..."

Magnet School. A "magnet school"? Won't that mess up the computers?

"He'll never grow out of it. It's made of rubber."

'I've been told before that I'm very mature for a three year old.'

"Never mind rehearsing for your first year at Uni. Get up now!"

"I really love school. There's only one problem. I think not having a college degree is holding me back."

Childlike love

"Better luck next time, kid."

Bathroom Fairy