Anniversary Planner Pillows

"Gee, Jeffrey, an annual report on our marriage is a novel anniversary gift, but I was hoping for something a little more romantic."

'I didn't forget our anniversary. Didn't you get my memo stating I rescheduled it for next week?'

'The only way to have your husband remember your anniverserary is to get married on his birthday!'

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

Shepherd and eurydice

"It's amazing, Darlin', just how fast the kids grow up!"

'I wouldn't say this wine's name is long, but it's continued on the bottle next to it.'

Tartine

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

The Signing of tthe United States Constitution

Playing Fetch.

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

You're my Mona Lisa.

Killer Executive Suits.

"This place has the best happy hour."

"M'lady, we’ve reached peak Brooklyn."

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Sloaney Pony.

LAY ZEE FUK

"Think of it as twenty one in human years. I'll take a bourbon and toilet water."

"I said the males were 'evolving' – I didn't say they were 'maturing.'"

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Where else in the world would you get such wonderful sunsets?"

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

Demure lady with gloves

In his younger days Spock was quite the comedian.

"You can access me by saying simply 'Agnes.' It is not necessary to add 'dot com.' "

Cry babies.

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

Men find this shampoo irresistible. It's called 'Gee, Your Hair Smells Like A New Car'.

'Darling I want you to remember this always,,,'