Anniversary Of Receiving Grant Pillows

"God, I'll be glad when his genius grant runs out"

'We've just become the biggest corporation in America.. let's celebrate today and begin downsizing tomorrow.'

'I've stepped on so many people for the last 20 years to get where I'm at, and I'm still only a middle manager.'

Dating is so expensive...

"Today, I'll be cherry-picking from Deuteronomy."

You can breed these if the environment is right.

"...and for today only, you'll get 10% off all tithing!"

'... and bless all of God's creatures with the possible exception of the greenfly...'

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Pearly King and Queen

Clowns in the board room: 'As you can see by the pie chart, most of our expenses go to, well, pie.'

"At least we are consistently inconsistent."

"I can't sit down. Don't you remember? I worked my butt off for you."

"You say I can move mountains? Right now,it's all I can do to turn over a new leaf!"

'You can't put him out to pasture - he owns the pasture!'

"Can the folks in the nose-bleed section hear me alright?!"

"It's not bulls**t if we call it strategy."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

Things I love about Powell River...

"Regular service or affected?"

"Your press kit said you were lots of fun."

Sumo Love.

Sermon Applause.

"Since we now have a leaking roof problem, it might be a good time to schedule baptisms."

"I always cry at mergers."

"I'm working part time, but I'm hoping that once I finish my master's they'll up my hours to full time."

"Excellent Simons, I admire a 'yes' man who's not afraid to say 'yes'."

'On the other hand, you must never, ever work in mysterious ways.'

...As we know, Jesus was a carpenter... but I don't think he actually sang on any of their records..."

"We're in deep trouble... there are some people quoting back to us what we taught them."

"All those in favor of eroticizing our annual report 'aye.'"

"That was a long three hours! I didn't know you had an extended service plan."

"I propose we build a panic room."

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"