Animal Testing Mugs

'Your honor - I own the patent to the entire guinea pig.' 'And I own the patent to the guinea pig's genes.'

"So Dennis, Daphne tells us you work for Delta Medical Research Laboraties."

Rat fools scientists after being given 'super intelligence drug'.

Although successful, Richard couldn't help feeling that his experiment was pointless.

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

"What happened to us, Eddie? We used to be so goal-oriented."

'No doubt about it. As long as they don't understand the concept of medicine, the placebo won't work.

'The ones who smoke, masturbate... the ones who don't smoke, masturbate... is this a study on smoking or masturbation?'

Scientist resembles mouse. He says: 'It's amazing to think that we share 99 per cent of the same genes.'

'...at least it's done something for our image.'

"...and what really makes this story scary is the kittens got lost in the woods before flea and tick products were invented."

"I have your gender reveal results. Boy, girl, boy, boy, girl, girl, boy, girl, boy, boy..."

'Dr Hodges, here, is from England and he's been observing us for 14 years. Mr Ferrell, an American, has been here only 3 weeks. Monique Corveu, from Paris, has practically been living with us for about nine years...'

A day at the transgenic races

"Congratulations! It's a bitch!"

'We're a protected species and an endangered speices, but when I see a person, I don't know if he's protecting us or endangering us.'

The Z Chromosome: Zebratic engineering with questionable results.

"That, believe it or not, is also a mammal."

'We call these supernumerary teats!'

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

'I said: Leave my son alone!'

The life of penguins.

'Do you mind if I take a few pictures, Bill?

'Hey - It says here, we're related!'

'Get me everything you have on bunny rabbits.'

The Animal Researcher Reports...'I've been watching this herd of cattle for seven years, and to be frank, I haven't seen them do anything yet!'

'That hussy. She's always first in line for insemination.'

'Ta dum deedee dum -- DUM -- Bloop -- Fsst, tra la,,,'

An inbred poodle.

"Plastic?"

'Don't worry Darling, they're scientists'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

'I think we're losing sight of our roots.'

Laboratory mouse in a maze with directions.