Animal Narrators T-Shirts

"I should start a podcast."

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'She's just great with the children.'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

"It's the dog."

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

"Don't be fooled - that's Henrietta, cross-dressing again."

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

"I touched another squirrel's nuts. Any other questions?"

'Tarzan'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

Trap set by bear to catch hunter.

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

'Wow, a weird animal without a mouth.'

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

'Not so easy, is it?'

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

"It's so confusing! Explain to us again when we have to swarm and when we have to make a beeline..."

Bad Cheetah!!!

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

'I'm sorry, honey, but your dog Scraps has gone on to a better place now. I sold him to that family across the road with an inground pool.'

The Ambivalence of a Nice Day in February