Animal Lover With A Sense Of Irony T-Shirts

"Thank you for your opinions, I will now continue to do as I damn well please."

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

Dog Dressed to Eat

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

Pin the blame on the donkey.

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

"This resumé has the kind of sizzle we're looking for."

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

"And I suppose you expect me to pick that up?"

Dog wearing jumper to hide his spots.

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"Actually I never loved you."

"He ran out of pee."

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'My dad must like you, or he would have charged by now.'

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

"Would you thrive in a hostile work environment?"

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

Chippunks

Rattache

Animal worries.

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

Animal rescue center

"Definitely work-related."

'Your disgusting behaviour has been almost human in nature!'

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'