Animal Lover's Paradox T-Shirts

Cold

"Yes, they're hair extensions, but you have to agree, I look fabulous..."

"Where is everyone?" "You had 'everyone' killed." "Stalin family reunion"

'A representative from Merrill Lynch to see you.'

'These hors d'oeuvres are real slop, and I mean that in the best sense.'

Diner

'I'll be honest with you. The pay isn't great.'

Are you the guy who ate my brother?

'Noah, before you leave we'd like to have a word with you!'

"Actually I never loved you."

"I wrote a letter to the Wall Street Journal saying the term 'Bear Market' makes me look like a loser, but they didn't print it."

'Someone's feeling bullish.'

"Since when isn’t a taxidermied animal a comfort pet?" "Since forever!" "Dang it!"

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

"If Noah asks... Just tell him you've all had your vaccinations."

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

'How long have you had this obsessive hatred of cats?'

'You have some nice car chasing scenes here.'

"Good news. Pork bellies just dropped four points."

'When I said you'd have to jump through hoops, I meant you'll have to literally jump through hoops.'

"We pride ourselves on defying expectations."

'Good book?'

Rattache

Chippunks

Animal rescue center

Animal worries.

"Definitely work-related."

Cow with Hay In Tray and Milk Out Tray.

"I had no alternative Mr. Prendergast. Your daughter fell and broke her leg."

"We raise our beef humanely."

'Will you tell the dog I live here!'

Tropical Cow Tank

"We don't do that kind of cattle futures, ma'am. You want Madam Mystic down the street."

'Ah look, what a lovely tortoise shell cat.'

Competitors complained that Sir Hops-A-Lot's souther steed gave him an unfair advantage."