Animal Intuition Pillows

"You will meet a tall, mysterious stranger — you will rub fur on his pant leg."

"Tell me about this fear of couches."

Licensed Therapist

"As a friend, I pray you rest in peace. As a dog, I really want to dig you up."

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Nature speaks to me of God’s presence, yet God is a total stranger to the restless world of men." "Why the #!@* is there no signal?!"

"Works every time."

'I'm not a happy bunny.'

"You are going to have lots of puppies."

They still don't get it, do they? They can't see we're aping them!

From what I hear, the Atwood Intuition Tank is coming up with results faster than we are.

Flea Philosophy.

"I see you, I see a vet, you're sore for weeks afterwards."

"If you could live your life all over again, what dead animals would you roll in?"

"I'm not a mad dog. But I'm not particularly happy either."

"He's sending an instant message."

'I can't come out to play, I have to help my owner work on his bike. Sometimes it sucks being a smart breed.'

"Great - Now what would be the second thing you'd do if you had opposable thumbs?"

"Frankenstein? Isn't the story of a being made from the parts of others a little far-fetched?" "I find it very believable."

I think the dolphin is my spirit animal! Unfortunately, it's likely mine is the sloth.

'Ok...on the count of three, we evolve into piranha.'

"Tonight... Hemingway."

"You're doing great boy! Just don't bark."

Sales Dept. is Out to Hunch

'The thing that really bugs me, Louis, is whether veterinarians are psychiatrists.'

Now you're going to say, "objection overruled." Objection overruled. What can I say? ESP is a gift from God.

Reading the Leaves.

"Why so sad, Pal?"

Call it that if it makes you feel better, Bobo … but it's still a zoo, not a gated community.

"Thanks for your input Branston, but I've decided to go with my intution"

Hi, this is click-whistle-chirp. Hi. … wait, who? Did you know humans are not the only sentient species on earth? Almost every species is sentient, contrary to thousands of years of racist propaganda. They think, they feel pain, they act with intent, they feel emotions ... especially the octopods. Never get on an octopus's bad side. House of Java Cybercafe. They've just never felt the needs to speak human languages before. Before? Before what? ... Wait ... am I talking to a dolphin? The sentient

'I think if we were to pretend to be dumb, they would lose interest in us...'

How's your animal? Do you mean my wolverine, or my inner animal?

"This dog definitely had abandonment issues..."