Animal Grooming Aficionado Gifts

'Just the usual, thanks.'

Braiding a Horse's Tail

"Well, here's the problem. You been takin' the hair ball pills and givin' the Viagra to the cats."

Bathing the dog

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

"Absolutely not!"

"It's really quite simple: Shave off the soul patch and the car is yours."

"Wow, what a DILF."

"You're fortunate. Stubble looks really good on you."

'Straight eye for the queer guy.'

Man with long beard looks at centerfold in Beard Monthly magazine.

Sheep are sheared and then shown a mirror.

"I'm down here, Mona. That's your slipper."

What female dogs think about their looks.

"Must we discuss your worming right before dinner?"

How to Pick up a Safety Razor Blade

In the shaving cut operating room of a hospital.

"I beg your pardon, but a mustache is required in the dining room. Would you like us to provide you with one?"

Time to trim the eyebrows!

"Actually, Occam, the simplest explanation is that you need an electric razor."

"Well sir. . . you could have a crew cut, flat top, a stiff quiff, a hi-top fade. . . "

Consider a Pet...someone with a bigger beak than me!

"Come on, let me cut your fringe! You look ridiculous!"

"Two or three more times around and you should be free."

"Fill it up!"

"Could you just make it a little awkward for a few weeks?"

'Will you get your eyes tested, you've put the hamster in the fish tank!'

'Under the circumstances, I feel that it would be best if you had another doctor!'

"BEARD FOR HIRE! Good Rates!"

Man heading towards the House of Mirrors with a shaving kit.

"It's actually an ink stain but my wife has grown quite fond of it."

The edge on this blade gives a close shave. Guaranteed to last a lifetime.

“It’s 2025 Roger, I didn’t think I’d still be seeing the lockdown beard..”

'I just got so fed up with bumping into things all the time that I cut my fringe...'