Animal Ethics Debater T-Shirts

Cigarettes arriving at Animal Research Centre - Hooray!

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"When faced with a tricky ethical issue, I always ask the question, 'What's in it for me?'"

"In case something happens during the surgery and you become incapacitated, have you designated someone to make poor life choices on your behalf?"

'How do we SLEEP at night?'

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

"So, I've heard you call yourself 'King of the Jungle'! Based on what criteria exactly?"

'What I lack in cognitive flexibility, I make up for in moral flexibility.'

'Forget it. Bioethics doesn't apply to us.'

Jesus Christ, Health Insurance CEO

Plant Parenthood...

'It's the moral highground occupation force.'

The continuing adventures of Rex, Washington DC insider.

"People, the facts are inescapable. Any ideas on how we can ignore them?"

'I recommend this to get rid of that stupid little voice whispering 'Don't forget to act ethical and responsible'!

"When we tested this medication on dogs, nobody noticed any side effects."

'Naughty? Nice? Santa, I don't deal in absolutes.'

Memory Content is King

"Is this your bright idea, Janet?"

"There is a medical use for marijuana. I sold it to pay my tuition at medical school."

"Went in for a simple blood test and got cloned by mistake."

'Then, as you can see, we give them some multiple choice tests.'

"At this point, we know it's addictive."

Man milks a book.

"...And since the cure is worse than the disease, we can make more money by developing a cure for that!"

'As we all know, the appearance of honesty is the best policy....'

"Very nice résumé. Leave a sample of your DNA with my secretary."

Impeachment: the Moral High Ground Isn't as High as It Used to Be

'Office of P.G.Barley and Clones'

Foreign policy

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

"My company sells military goods and information to unsavory characters around the world, and donates 100% of our profits to local charities!"

"Poverty is a social disease and it's not covered by your health insurance"

Always a popular motive: Hunter and Prey.