Animal Enthusiast Uncle Mugs

'Who called me a quack?' (boy has duck on his knee in vet's surgery).

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

'Please tell me you're baby sitting?'

'I know you're really proud, dear. But, don't you think people might think you're bragging?'

"What you call tricks I call humiliations."

Caveman's dog with head outside car window.

"I want to dispel the rumor that this redistricting map was drawn by my toddler on an Etch-A-Sketch. . .I'd never met that toddler before."

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

"Do you remember ordering 1,345 cans of tuna?"

'Sorry Ben, I never noticed the baby-sitting clause in the stud contract.'

Dog traps the postman.

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The David Letterman Show Goes to the Dogs, Cats, Birds, Guinea Pigs...

Help!I am being forced to eat vegetables

War Heros Variety Night (playing a tune on his medals).

'Say... I just had no idea the red haired freckled dutchmen were so good with kids!'

"I'm feeling like there's a 'good boy' on this side of the room."

The definitive turning point in The Great Terrier-Squirrel War was the now-famous Trojan Acorn Maneuver.

"Yes, we're supposed to sing, but not Rap!"

Pianist.

'The MCC celebrate a famous victory' group of dodgy looking old English men holding drinking glasses

Farmer and the Loove Dog!

'First we had her fixed, then we had her gussied up.'

"Russia's always bigger than you think."

"The meaning of life is cats."

Santa Claus walks dogs

Balding dog

'I don't think that brand of cat food is very healthy.'

Little known fact #244: Cholera was not the #1 cause of death for children on the Oregon Trail

"Museum directory: Male statues with big d**ks. Female statues with huge tits & fat butts."

'We sleep 18 hours a day, eat whenever we want and the rest is all free time. So what's the big difference up here?'

99 Dalmations - Edited for television.

'Enough, George... I let you get the stupid pool. I'm not going to cut your dinner into little pieces and dump it in.'

"My report is on the three branches of government - checks, balances, and subpoenas."

These are the quills used to sign the Declaration of Independence! The founding feathers!

'I bet he buried something really big there.'