Angelic Jester Mugs

"I'm having a bad halo day!"

"Admit it man - this is no place for a stilt walker."

Devil Puppeteer

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

"Petting zoo" "Heavy petting zoo"

Pretty girls listen patiently. They know you'll soon get tongue-tied and won't be able to talk anymore.

"I love a woman with a sense of humour."

"I'd have been here sooner if it hadn't been for early detection."

Jesus plays peek-a-boo with doubting Thomas.

'Guess what I'd like to see disappear next.'

'Wait while I slip on something more comfortable.'

"They're a perfect match – she's high-maintenance, and he can fix anything."

Monks play conkers with crucifix

Luring the babes is a cinch when you've got the right feet for the job.

"Will you manage my portfolio?"

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

"I'm not very good at sex, but what do you say to eight hours uproarious sleep?"

Boyfriend scores notches on wall by bed.

Excommunicate Me.

"Is there anyone else in your life I should know about?"

Pin your hopes and dreams on the donkey

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

"To be honest I'd rather make love not war, but my chat-up lines are terrible."

So I said, If I'm guilty of anything, it's loving you too much. Apparently, that's not what you're supposed to say to a traffic court judge.

We interrupt today's "The Price is Right" episode to bring you breaking news … Weeks ago, the Hubble telescope spotted a rogue planet the size of Venus plummeting through the solar system on a collision course with earth. It turns out it was actually just a prank involving two very bored ISS astronauts and a grapefruit. Breaking News!!!!! Maybe we should send them to Mars after all. One of them seems to have scrawled "Around and around and around and around" all over his space suit, in crayon.

"If you love me you'd eat all the coconut ones I don't like."

'You told me I should be more affectionate, so I got myself two girlfriends!'

"Before I start today's sermon let's take 5 minutes to view the highlights reel from the last 3 Sundays..."

"This song is inspired by the time I fell down the tower stairs"

"But Wendy could serve the Lord. She'll keep the cats out."

"And she's always demanding sex!"

An angel spinning the Vitruvian Man

Life of a clown wife

'As a test of your love, Kevin, I'd want our marriage to be on superbowl sunday.'

'Wait a minute -- Shouldn't you be saying something about 'If not completely satisfied'?'