Angelic Affairs T-Shirts

"A couple of contact tracers are out here asking questions."

'What - NINE whole lives for only ONE eternity?'

"I thought there would be bacon here."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Local News in Heaven

Halo Frisbee.

'One really nice thing up here is that it's always very easy to get an audience with a Pope.'

'I store all my data in the cloud.'

'I didn't expect to have remote controls here.'

A faulty part from an independent supplier leads to the creation of a multibillion-dollar sports medicine profession.

'Would you mind not drinking from the holy water?'

'No, please, go on. It's so refreshing to talk to someone with an entirely different point of view.'

"This is Heaven, you idiot. Everything's perfect. There is no suggestion box."

"Fifty is plenty.". . . "Hundred and fifty."

"But you're paper trained and we don't have any newspapers or newspaper people."

'It's true that the meek were intended to inherit the Earth, Mr. Osgood, but we have you classified as 'apathetic.''

'I'm sorry, this is the line for people who volunteered to help their community. You're looking for the eternal damnation department.'

'Don't sweat it - We grade on the curve.'

Keyboard in Heaven

'Please hold for an eternity...'

'They're the angel of social conscience funds and his evil twin, greedy devil.'

"Better hurry it up on that 'Eve' project. Adam's been giving the eye to an orangutan."

'Just pretend they're not here. They're my transition team.'

New arrival in Heaven sees a Manna vending machine.

'Mr.Shumway here is our visiting ethicist.'

'The Christ Child'

'You're six months late. I hope you brought a note from your doctor.'

'I should have prefaced my advice with the statement that I'm not an expert on the market.'

Movie Angel

'I'm still pretty unwell, I'm not sure if I'll be in the office tomorrow.'

Death of the pope.

Arnold had not been much of a saint in his life and now he paid the price.

"When you testify, Marty, tell the truth and let the lawyers go to hell."