Andrew Lloyd Webber Fan Pillows

'We had to donwsize.'

'A cheeky red?'

Backfire

"Unbelievable! A tick!"

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"What's a nice girl like you doing in a bubble like this?"

"Go ahead. Fly through it. I dare you."

'Hey, buddy, do you mind lending me a hand? I appear to be stuck in this thing.'

"Nice haircut."

'You're suffering from job-stress insomnia. Stop counting sheep to fall asleep.'

'Why, yes, I remember you. May I suggest an undrinkable pinot grigio that goes well with a bad tip?'

"It's Friday the 13th. I feel lucky!"

'Talking of of big tops have you seen the new barmaid at the Green Dragon?'

"It's your ribs. I'm afraid they're delicious."

Girl Scout cookies selling the girl scout.

Guide dog with eyesight proplem.

'I told him we're becoming an endangered species. He just laughed.'

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

'This is the kind of hat you wear to bed.'

"If you don't start misbehaving, there won't be any Halloween candy for you."

Man has a dream about a clumsy sheep.

'He's been at it too long. Now, when the bell rings, Dr. Pavlov salivates.'

'This one contains the commandments that will make people ENJOY life! Ha ha, just kidding.'

Did You Know That...Scientists in Illinois, USA, claim we would live a longer life if we were more like elves?

"Is there a humorist in the house?"

"And Moses climbed the mountain day and night searching for some sort of sign from God when suddenly he saw it"

'Nobody goes there any more.' - 'It's too crowded.'

Misery Memoirs Bumper Pack.

"You mean you blame your failure in life on not having won the Irish Sweepstakes in 1970?"

"O.K., your mouth may be clean but I'll bet your mind is filthy."

Ziggy Wombat

"God, I hate to fly."

"When life gives me lemons, I know twenty-six ways to kill a man with a lemon."

'No thanks. I'm just looking...'