Ancient Storytellers Pillows

'... And as soon as it's discovered, don't play with fire!'

'The middle east eh! See somebody's wife has been turned into a pillar of salt, the Hittites are at it again, a load of slaves have escaped fro Egypt by parting the sea, and some lot have destroyed the walls of Jericho with trumpets, when will ever end?'

CX912809

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"We only got six days of funding."

"...and the humans turned Neville into 80,000 toothpicks..."

Mom, there's a simple explanation for this...Aliens from outer space.

After 39 years, 11 months, 28 days, Moses finally received the GPS he ordered from Amazon.

'A wheel? No wonder I broke a tooth. I thought it was a donut.'

"Wheel, schmeel—check these babies out!"

Romeo & Juliet & Ron

'The wheel was easy, the owner's manual is hard!'

"Eat my dust!"

Pastries and Candy

The First Fire Stick

'Are we there yet?'

'I made a good grade in creative writing, but I didn't do very well in creative spelling.'

"You think two weeks in isolation is hard?"

"I couldn't care less if being Homo Sapiens is the latest trend. While you're living in our cave, you better act like a true Neanderthal."

OOG & SONS HUNTING & GATHERING

'He was a great writer'

'AAAARGH!...Get it off! Whatever the hell it is...Get it off!'

'If you want to see my resume, it's on my cave wall.'

Jorge Luis Borges

'O mighty gods! - May you grant us food, clothing, and shelter, and the wisdom to know the difference.'

Man takes picutre of other man holding up huge worm at Bait Shop.

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

"So you're just now tellin' me I was hatched from an egg and I coulda' left years ago?!?"

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Caveman to kid: 'There's more to life than what you read on cave walls.'

Phoenix

Having moved to a tablet, the farmer's wife was done with mice. . .

"Honestly, I thought you were a metaphor."

"Yes, I'm sure of my 3 wishes - I wish I had a pen, I wish I had paper to write a 'rescue me' note, and I wish I had a bottle to send it in"

'New hope for dysfunctional couples: Read aloud the complete works of Trollope.'