Ancient Historian Wannabe Mugs

arrogant child showing off her knowledge of ancient history at a party

"Approaching 10,000 steps."

Tourists

"Aristophanes explains comedy"

"Frankly, I can't wait until I evolve into a bird..."

"If we only used bigger clubs we would defeat our enemies every time, and we would dominate them forever!"

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Have you been playing dice?"

'According to creation mathematicians, all of Euclid's theories were originally found etched into rocks.'

'I was hoping you'd sign them 'To my good buddy Moses!''

Sphinx cat and mummy mouse

'It's an extinction notice.'

'I'm sure he was a great guy, but there's a new Pharaoh in town.'

'The dreaded Anachronisaurus strikes again!'

Grim Reaper rowing a boat full of dead souls to the afterlife; a tip jar sits on the side of the boat.

"He conquered the known world - now all he's got is sudoku."

Trojan Hurdler.

'You can come down a peg. Mesopotamia gave the world bureaucracy, you know.'

The Fall of Gnome

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

'I think it's more than a coincidence that I discover fire, and my wife discovers burnt food on the same day.'

Noah's life jacket demonstration

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"Here's the parking lot."

Sphinx Comes Alive

Herding lava back to the fire pit.

43AD: Romans invade Britain.

"No, this is NOT a beta-test!"