Analytics Team T-Shirts

"The graph hasn't changed in six months, I'm starting to doubt the analytics team."

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

'It's only a hunch, but I think everybody bought everything they needed, last time.'

The Businessmen Have to Make Decisions from Many Options

"I was hoping this presentation would be more interesting upside down."

"How's everybody doing? I'm not boring you, am I?"

"Right about here there was a flattening of the curve. . ."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

"I think I'll be late back for tea. . . about a week."

"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Light Bulb Moment

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

"The trend in tough economic times is to put off everything that doesn't require immediate action ? as this chart shows."

"Morning, all!"

Lethal Presentation

'What happened to that efficiency report? I had it in my hand not two minutes ago.'

Time Is Money

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

'We're living in a round hole economy.'

'Why can't you tell me you love me without all the charts and graphs?!'

'We're holding our own, but I'd really like to see some growth.'

"COUGH! COUGH! Years of data mining have left me with data lung. Don't be like your old man - go into modeling or visualization!"

'Hey, the quarter wasn't so bad after all.'

'Inevitably, I come to work early, leave late and alienate everyone.'

"Just heading out for a good cry, care to join me?"

'The reason I like this guy's stock picks is, he's not burdened by having any experience in finance whatsoever.'

"Thank god you're early. It's a can of worms."

"Fill me in so I can panic too."

'You don't have to be a boring bastard to work here but it helps.'

Six Thinking Hats

"Was that my pager or yours?"