Anachronistic Laughs Gifts

Krog almost invents fire.

"What do you recommend for someone being tried in absentia?"

You don't need to believe EVERYTHING you are told.

"Staring down the enemy in the heat of battle! That is how sausage is made!"

"My dad can't talk yet, but he's learned to wave bye-bye."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

"Are you the one they call El Cóndor?"

"Behold! I am God! I know all. Yet I'm constantly testing you even though I already know what you'll do. But I'll still punish you for the sins I planned for you to do. And you'll suffer in a fiery pit, tormented beyond imagining forever and ever and ever

"That's weird. The app says to look for a Nissan Sentra."

'He hasn't responded to training - he still insists on taking Alec to his slippers....'

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

'I just found out that our credit union is illusory!'

I think the speed grazing record is in the bag!

The sudden extinction of Neanderclowns

'Now that's what I call an overactive thyroid.'

"Welcome back, Mr. Bigley. Some messages came in for you while you were dead."

"I tied his line around this log, then I tug on it once in awhile. He's gullible, because it's been three hours now."

"It's perfect."

"Are any of these the perpetrator?"

Wave to the Goldfish!

The Terror Of Folkenstein

Estate Agents - Now in!! Affordable houses (flooded).

"I haven't written anything yet, but I'm looking for someone to ghostwrite my book 'how to delegate.'"

I don't know why you don't just cancel your subscription to the Rock-of-the-Month club.

'They're still waiting for Godot.'

Sock puppet down!: 'A hand! I need a hand!'

Incontinent ballistic missile

Book Burp

"I paid twelve quid for this and it only mentions nine!"

'...and why shouldn't she be sleeping with your next door neighbour - she's my wife!'

'Ha ha, that cloud looks just like Frederick Pethick-Lawrence, Financial Secretary to the Treasury, 1929-1931.'

'I'd like to try some coffins.' - 'Let me show you our standard size.' - 'It feels a bit tight around the waist.' - 'How are you looking to die?' - 'I don't know, really.' - 'I'd recommend a wasting disease.' -

'There's no need to be that kind.'

"I understand they're pretty much extinct everywhere else."