Amused Parents T-Shirts

"Sorry Mom, but I really need to take this call."

"He's not talking yet, but sometimes we give him peanut butter to make it look like he is."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

'The kids were so sweet...'

"This is where baby gets some alone time."

"But if I don't break stuff who will?"

'Your wife has given birth to the blues.'

"See what happens when you go swimming after eating!"

'I must be going through a mid-life crisis.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies

The Wright brothers discover the first nightmare flight

Children's Nursery

Biker couple with their baby in a side car.

I am to blame.

The inventor of the Slip 'n Slide becomes a father.

"Sorry I'm late with my grades. I was busy removing the 'Honor Roll' bumper sticker from the car."

Ultra Sound/Downloading.

'Mom can I have another apple?'

'Mom never pops a wheelie.'

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

Switchback Playground.

"I'm trying to make them look less scary."

Baby eating "Uploading", Baby on toilet "Downloading"

He knows a few words, but he doesn't stay on message.

Playerpen - 'Naptime already?'

"So what is the consulting that you got an 'A' for?"

"I've got 2 WONDERFUL children. 2 out of 5 isn't bad I suppose!"

'For a brief time I held the world record for the youngest person on earth.'

'I can't sleep Dad. Tell me another scary story?'

'Her first telekinesis!'

I'm going to have a baby girl soon. What's a good name for a baby girl, Randy? Wait … you're going to have a what? Tell me you didn't just say what I think you said, little buddy. I'm going to have a baby girl. Met a lady, we fell in love, got married, and now we're going to have a baby girl. Wait ... you're talking about some video game, aren't you? I'm thinking of naming her SIMantha, but that might bee too obvious.

'Now look at what you did! You upset the garbage can and scattered garbage everywhere. Son, I'm proud of you.'

'We're running combat maneuvers on our 3 year old?'

Stuff You Do In Pre-natel Class.

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'