Amoeba Appreciator T-Shirts

'Dear, when I die, what ever you do, don't donate my body to science.'

"You're not the same pupa you were when we first met."

"Has anyone turned in a chicken?"

"You've changed."

"Sometimes, Cheryl, I wonder why you only invite me along to cocktail parties."

Romantic Tree Carving

Happy Bifurcation Day,

'Hey, it's that peeping Tom again, the one who has no respect for privacy.'

'Walking your pet amoeba again, Henry?'

Tortured Plank

Alvin, genealogist extraordinaire, traces his roots back to the first amoeba.

Paving over the window-box

'...if you look at it in the right way it begins to make sense.'

'Oh boy, the pollen count is going up.'

Alright! Now I get to have two girlfriends.

Botanical violinist

'We did it, Dad! We won the heaviest frog award!'

'Look at this! The little critters are not asexual after all!'

'I'm rerady to announce a two-for-one split.'

'Granted, it's classified as a weed around here, but you have to agree its pollen is delicious...'

Amoebae Parent evening - Gifted and Talented

'Boy I freak out when slimy things touch my feet...'

Motherhood in its simplest form.

'Does this outfit make my tympanums look big?'

'I got custody of the kids.'

"Well, someone's had a good Christmas."

Maradona memorial.

Louis the MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMCLXXIV, King of the Amoebas.

Big Brother in Monastery.

"I'm feeling asexy, baby!"

"I think I was a caterpillar!"

Dinosaurs were once considered slow dimwitted louts, but over the years that image has changed.

"When everyone's day... no one is."

'Waiter, there's no fly in my soup.'