Amist Mugs

"What's wrong with you? Just call her John! Just pick up the phone and dial!"

"You're losing the audience. Switch to the Powerpoint presentation."

Claus 2.0

Shoe Shine/Lace Tie

Inclusive speech

What's normal?

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"Jimmy, I want you to meet our new safety officer."

'I look forward to a bigger and bolder vision in my 2nd term.'

'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

Artisan hot dog stand has pigs tethered to it.

"This is not the first time I have been asked to speak."

"I believe I can create a great presentation if I can only tap into my cognitive dissonance."

"My master's vowel hyperarticulation is wearing a bit thin..."

"Take the off this minute, young lady."

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

'Well ladies and gentlemen, I'm sure my little talk has made you all think'

"Well the good news is that we did save a little money by not investing in cyber crime protection...."

Tonight: Town Hall Meeting. With free speech, sometimes I think that you get what you pay for!

"Yes, I'm alone."

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor

Distributor in love with a multitasking robot.

Robot arm shows charity to a laid off beggar.

'I've never seen anyone lip-sync a speech before.'

A. Lincoln, President. The "of the people, by the people, for the people" part is great, Abe, but the "people who need people" section may be overkill.

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

Telephone message - 'This is a recording. If you'd like to speak to a real live human being, forgetaboutit.

Business coach hiding in speach desk.

'I'll try to keep my remarks brief.'

"I would like to thank all the big and little and in between people."

1874 - Winston Churchill was born at Blenheim palace

'I have enough confidence in our project to put our money where our lawyer's mouth is.'

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

From Hunter-Gatherer to Influencer: The Evolution of the Dignity of Labor