Amicable Exes Pillows

"How sweet...Our first divorce! I'm so glad we got to share this special moment together."

"We're divorced, but we are still friends - friends with lawyers."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"And this is Helen, my wife by a previous marriage."

'Does this say 'transitional husband' to you?'

'It was a very strange divorce — the judge got custody of my wife.'

Parson and abandoned husband

'I haven't done anything. My ex-wife had those posters printed.'

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"Let's text her, she'd like that."

"I'm sorry, Arthur. I've decided to secede from our marriage."

"According to the statistics in this article, you should be my ex-husband and be three months behind in alimony payments."

'Your ex is calling. Her investment club bought 51 of the company, and you're fired!'

"My ex wife is a heart surgeon. . . she ripped my heart out!"

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

Revenge Graffiti.

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"I'm not a vindictive person, Charles. When your chickens do come home to roost I hope they're free range chickens."

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

Generation Ex.

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

'You said to come back once I got my act together.'

"We've done volcano and twister. We need another movie about a natural disaster and my first marriage came to mind."

"Give it all you got is the motto of my wife's divorce attorney."

"Isn't that your ex wife?"

'This is George, my divorce lawyer from a previous marriage.'

Marriage Crash Investigation

Bartender: 'Rough day, huh?'Man: 'I'll say. My ex-wife just sued the pants off me.'

'Your 'ex' seems to be doing well.'

"You can scatter my remains at my ex-wife's apartment."

'She got the house, she got the car, she got the....'

'Yes, I would like to go on a second honeymoon, provided it was with my second husband!'