Amicable Divorce Advocate Pillows

"Ted Burton! How are you? How's my ex-wife? My kids? My dog?"

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

"Some day, son, all this will be your ex-wife's."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'According to your pre-nuptial agreement. If you divorce her, you'll turn back into a frog.'

'Of course I hired Andrew. He's the best divorce lawyer around! Unfortunately, he's also the rat I want to get divorced from...'

"After six marriages I learnt my lesson and married my divorce lawyer."

Luke Skywalker- Matrimonial Law

"Phil, honey, do you ever think about taking our relationship to the next level?"

Joint Ventures!

A rare picture of Henry VIII's divorce lawyer.

'You've got Mr & Mrs Smith at 2.00, Mr & Mrs Jones at 2.30, and at 3.00 your wife has made an appointment with a Divorce Lawyer!'

"Well, we can try. But to be honest, I doubt that you'll get custody of your husband's credit cards."

"We'll make your wedding reception perfect, and don't forget you get a money-saving coupon for any future divorce parties."

'I'm with my minister father and my senator mom through the week and my senator mom through the week. I'm the ultimate division between Church and State.'

"You'll hear from my lawyer."

"I'll bet there's a story there."

"Can you recommend something for the attorney who got me everything?"

"When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one person to dissolve the marital bonds which have connected her with another..."

"Love is grand... divorce is a hundred grand."

"He snores from October to May!"

'Perhaps we should leave details of the divorce settlement until after we are married.'

John McWit, Divorce Lawyer & Celibate,

It went even worse than I expected - She got custody of the kids and me.

"It's not good, Jack. She's after the house, the condo, custody, half your retirement $ 12,000 a month and she still wants a pound of flesh."

'Busting balls since 1983.'

"I do corporate, divorce, and malpractice, but I'm most familiar with leash laws."

'... And just in case it doesn't work out, here's my card. I'm also a very good divorce lawyer.'

'The divorce was ugly, but not as ugly as the marriage.'

'Dear editor, today I saw the first cuckold of spring...' (Divorce Lawyer).

'I thought Lobsters mate for life.'

'Mr. Rock and Mrs. Hardplace are here, sir.'

"Quite frankly, I've had a gut-full of all his Shakespearean drama!"

"I submit to the committee the document of your unfinished screenplay, is it your testimony today that you told your wife it would be finished by now?"

'If you dislike the term divorce that much, then just think of it as downsizing the time you spend together.'