Amateur Prophets Pillows

'Personally, I think you're losing your focus.'

Moses on the web

'The World will speak hip-hop tomorrow.'

'And now, please stand and join us as complete amateur butchers our national anthem.'

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"I really don't care what yours says. My weather app says rain for 40 days and 40 nights. I think you should probably go with that, Noah."

The End of the World is postponed from 2000 to 2112.

"Oh, the crystal ball rolled off and fell right on my foot! Didn't see it coming!"

'How will my turkey turn out this year?' Color

"Did you know that cats aren't mentioned anywhere in the Bible?"

'He may be the Messiah, but he's no Springsteen.'

"The fact that you're here means you will continue to make poor life decisions."

The end is near - well, at least for the sandwich board guy.

'I know it looks silly, but they say his prophecies have regained their old accuracy.'

The end is near.

'Fortunes, Impressions, Hunches, Wild Guesses'

'My father carried this sign before me, as did his father before him.'

Before becoming the legend that he is today, Nostradamus first enjoyed a pretty good living at the tracks.

"Why do you need to know if I've made a will?"

A self-filling prophecy.

Protesting man's sign reveals that his credit has run out.

"Your life will soon resemble a soggy old clump of leaves."

doom.com

Information desk manned by a fortune teller.

'What're you doing, kid? You keep spoiling my surprise!'

The End is Near/Just the Beginning

"@FBarnes12 favorited a prophecy you were mentioned in."

"The end of the world is nigh."

'Do you have any preexisting conditions, like sloth, gluttony, pride, lust...'

'Replaced by analytical software. I should have seen it coming.

'I've finished your horoscope, Bucky.'

"Covid again!"

Sidewalk Prophet

The end of the world is at hand: '10... 9... 8... 7...'

I have seen the future...