Alumni Aficionados Mugs

'Whoa! We sure blew that prediction!'

Couple cuddle under a sprinkler with an umbrella as an excuse to be close

Ten Years to get the Ph.D

Monument in the park for Squirrel Feeder

'In conclusion, I hope you all go out there, get well-paying jobs, and give lots of tax-deductible gifts to our alumni fund.'

'That's it gentlemen, we're broke. Anybody know any good jokes?'

An old man and women are driving along with a 'Still married' sign on their car.

"Let's see, this one is cherry flavored, I think this one is blueberry ..."

Welcome Bureaucrats! (Convention of bureaucrats).

'You talk about her so much. Why don't you invite that Alma Mater of yours to dinner sometime?'

'What I don't understand, is how a guy named Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart stayed out of fights long enough to compose any music.'

'You've spent the last 20 years in college. What made you stop hiding from the real world?'

'I love men in uniformity.'

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

A British policeman looking for a black cat who is in the hedge behind him.

"We just want you to know that wherever you wind up going to college is fine with us, as long as it's someplace we can brag about to our friends."

"Then, unfortunately, our market launch ran into a brick wall."

'You need to get your grades up...because good grades are an early sign of good credit scores.'

'I had a good share and tell, Ms. Gibbs, but my family made me sign a confidentiality agreement.'

'She didn't want to go out with you even though you told her you had a h-index of 37! Boy I don't understand women!'

'Are the fish safe to eat?! Heck, yeah! Me and Leon been eatin' 'em for 30 years!'

It's nice to have a positive parents' night topic. College admissions. Hearing about drugs, depression and sexually transmitted diseases gets old. The 3 downer 'Ds'. Tonight we'll discuss your kids' futures in higher education. We'll cover drugs, depression, diseases and crushing debt. Correction. 4 'Ds'.

"I'm nostalgic for the print media."

Overnight Sensation

Have you ever known anyone famous? I have. I've always been great friends with Randy "The Rock" Taylor. What? That's you. Carry yourself like everyone knows you, and everyone you meet will feel like they SHOULD know you. HEY, YOU ALL OVER THERE! YOU KNOW ME! You don't carry things with your mouth.

'Remember, your success in life will be measure by how much you donate to your Alma Mater...'

'Don't pay me. I'm not a conductor, I'm a naval officer.'

'I seem to recall my pre-school graduation ceremony was called 'so what'.'

It's the thought that counts...'on our first anniversary he gave me a pearl necklce. On our silver anniversary he gave me a colonoscopy!'

"Someone must have read about me in the financial pages. My college alumni fund in contacting me twice a week."

"You call this a resume? The school you graduated from lost every football and basketball game this year."

Each one respresents another honor.

'Spreadbury! Never forget a face - 1957! Gave you a beating... good old school days, eh? Spreaders?'

'I really miss the old days when we were smarter than our phones.'

"We're lucky the Peace Corps sent us a Princeton man."