Alternative Beliefs Explorer Pillows

'I tried Satanism, but they've got a lot of dogma too.'

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

New Road Signs to Watch For:

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

'Rehab centre' "I'm addicted to Irvine Welsh"

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"I'm you from the future! Or the past. I've completely lost track of time."

"Tomorrow will be mainly sunny, but with some scattered showers..."

'As part of our alternative budget management strategy we've got Tim on 'Hail Marys' in here and Geoff sacrificing a goat to Woden next door!'

Community church - the home of religion lite - Sermon: 'Atheism? You may be right!'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'I have one last question: this beach is clothing optional, right?'

"But, Jesus - you can't become an atheist."

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"I just completely disagree with what you just said about America lacking focus."

The New Age Dentist.

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

'Perhaps we do need a plan 'B'.'

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Just my luck."

Religion & Economics.

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

'I want you to sit up front right by my desk. It's not because I want to keep an eye on you. It's a feng shui thing.'

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'