Alternate Universe Gifts

'This parallel universe theory is interesting, Dave. Tell me more.'

...and then I...wait....What's that?? Whoa! We're on a spaceship! This is fun! Hey! What's this button do? Can I pull this lever? Are we there yet? Take a selfie with us? Do we get snacks? Can I drive? Are we there yet? Something we said? Just imagine if we'd been obnoxious!

"By the way, the failing grades you'll be seeing-they won't be virtual."

New Road Signs to Watch For:

An alien dog hangs its head out the flying saucer.

'In the alternate universe I've come up with, everything would be exactly the same except cats would bark.'

"They're very time-sensitive."

'I'm not sure my heart could take the excitement.'

"Don't make eye-contact, don't make eye-contact..."

Leftie Trump

"I'd just as soon it wasn't cut into those funny little pieces, if you don't mind."

"Being from another planet is worth thirty points towards your child's admission to Harvard."

"I'm sorry. How did I know what he would do to your cat if I let him play with it?"

What can I get you? A lemonade, and a scone for my avatar. No way. You have an avatar? Sure. Who doesn't? It's the hip thing. But that's just a movie concept. You're living in an imaginary kid world, right? If you say so. Okay, so one lemonade and one pretend scone. Real scone. For my real avatar. Don't let it get to you. How come I don't have an avatar?!?! You're cruel, lady. Give me my $5. Best money I ever spent.

"Your problem is that you live in a fantasy world."

Please use other dimension.

An Alternative Theory on Custer's Last Stand: 'I said 'retreat' not 'retweet!''

So that's what they mean by the "vacuum of space"! Vvrrrrr. WHOOSH!

"The aliens asked about music, too! With my help, they were able to reconstruct the most magical instrument on Earth!"

'Whatever you do don't press the parallel dimensions button again!'

"Anyhow, according to the Science 'Times,' things would have turned out quite a bit differently if that meteor had hit Earth."

"Occasionally, the membrane between parallel universes ruptures."

"The imaginary people keep telling me that I'm crazy..."

'You better be in top form, Wally - he has home PLANET advantage.'

"I've always known R.H. would be able to do that!"

An alien jumps through a lion tamer's hoop

"Well, you say it's wrong, but it could be correct in an alternative universe."

"I wonder what happened in all those other timelines?"

Reselling for Fun and Profit

"No, no probe! I told you in the bar I don't do anal!"

Studio 51

"I'm sorry—did you say something? I was off creating my own reality."

"Don't be frightened. I'm you, but I come from a perpendicular universe."

Catching Butterflies

"Ebeneezer, I'm the ghost of Christmas future. From an alternate universe where you're an awesome guy. So. . . not much to say, really."