Alphabetic Aficionado Pillows

Pirate boy reciting the alphabet

"Meet The Author"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"Finally, the alphabet is paying off."

Wordplay: In The Bag.

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

'Don't worry, you're safe. I started my diet today.'

"It lost a little something in translation."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

"Letters would be all right if they'd just let us leave them in alphabetical order."

"This is a test. This is only a test. IF this had been the real world it'd be your job you'd be fighting for, not a letter of the alphabet."

"You can use the alphabet to text. You can use the alphabet to tweet. Why can't you use the alphabet to spell?"

'A is for Arse.'

'We're out of earshot now, so you can drop the phoney, Oxbridge accent.'

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

We Will Beat Any Genuine Quote...

'Alphabet soup? What's alphabet?'

Ironing Punctuation

"Wait, wait, back up, back up. Who the #!@! is George Orwell?"

'Why is it taking so long to eat your soup?'

"Oui, c'est bon. It is, how you Americans say, 'Magically Delicious'."

'He speaks for our entire generation. Pity he's such a bore...'

Staff Yearbook

My Literary Influences

Frontispiece to 'Dombey and Son'

'Oh no! Is this a blogger I saw before me?'

"Your appendix is fine. It's your glossary I'm worried about."

'Excellent job, Fenwick, especially the part where you employ Magic Realism to fudge third-quarter earnings!'