Almanac Enthusiasts Pillows

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

Antiques

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"It's time to wake up!"

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

Bureau of Missing Persons

"I'm still looking, sir?"

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

Books of Tablets

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

The Old Curiosity Shop

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

Antique silver

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

Directions.

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'Damn sirens go off as soon as anyone goes near them.'

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'But Grandma, how did you text on them?'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'Don't even think about it, Walter.'

"And what do you think my husband is worth?"

"So that's Ireland."

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

"Well, Emmeline, what's new?"

"If you get that vase, I get this bearded lamp."

Antique Ailments

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

Bertrand Russell