Almanac Enthusiasts Pillows

"Uh oh. The almanac indicates an early fall - here's a back-to-school on page one!"

'...then Johannes Gutenberg built the first bookcase'

Antiques

'This is a wind-up, isn't it?'

"Midtown Vinyl. Vintage albums + EPs. Midtown Ink. Vintage books + newspapers."

Auctioneer: 'Sold to the lady whose husband just walked out!'

"I realize you don't want to miss that important business call next week, but setting your alarm to go off every 10 minutes until then is getting really annoying."

"It's time to wake up!"

"Yes, we still love print, don't we?"

Books of Tablets

Authentic Rinkelmier chair (Built 1723)

'If you don't want to go digital, fine, but if you're going to store film in our cooler you have to save room some soda and beer."

"I'm still looking, sir?"

Bureau of Missing Persons

'It's too wet for walkies and I can't find my boots!'

The Old Curiosity Shop

'I'm afraid my husband will stop loving me as I get older.' - 'Mine would never do that with me. You know why, don't you. He's an antique dealer.'

Antique silver

I brake for anything discarded that I can bring to the antiques roadshow.

'Damn sirens go off as soon as anyone goes near them.'

"I've up cycled your Chippendale!"

Directions.

What's that, Lance? It's called a newspaper. It's like a Kindle, but instead of your fingers leaving smudges, they get smudged.

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

'But Grandma, how did you text on them?'

'Don't even think about it, Walter.'

'Now we come to what it would have been worth'

'Next time, spring for a little more, and get a GOOD GPS'

"So that's Ireland."

"And what do you think my husband is worth?"

"If you get that vase, I get this bearded lamp."

"Well, Emmeline, what's new?"

Lost dog/Lost Sheep posters

'But Miss, I've only just got the hang of 'the little hand' and 'the big hand'...'

Bertrand Russell