Allowance Adventurers Pillows

'I'm the only kid on the block whose parents deduct a 'management fee' from his allowance.'

'Whe they said 'God is my Judge', I didn't realize He was a real attorney.'

"Just one more question before I let you in...I can let you in...are you a cat or dog person?"

'Before you can enter, you need to punch in the verification code so we can be certain that you're a real soul,'

"Needs to get a life"

"It's true: no more burpees."

"If you get to the pitchfork-shaped cloud, you've gone too far."

Hang on...I've got WINGS..!!!

A surprise in heaven

"I do tech support for the cloud."

'Pre-existing conditions - What did YOU die of?'

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

Saint Peter will sometimes put on a disguise just to play a prank on the new arrivals.

"Finally, Miss Big-Shot calls her dead mother!"

'This is way better than a litter box.'

"You just had to book the economy cruise, didn't you?"

I used to love coming here. Nudist beach.

'My allowance isn't much - but I have a great benefits package!'

Halo Frisbee.

'You sloth and gluttony guys have it easy -- I'm here for envy!'

Free ticket to heaven... details inside

"I told you to pack a damned sweater."

"Your long-range investments would have made you a very wealthy man."

"That's Bob. He's a bit of a wing nut."

"Even if I did believe that he was communicating through you. I'm afraid it's too late to change the will now."

Norman Wisdom at the Pearly Gates

"Let's say an immediate $10.00 allowance increase plus an annual 8% cost of living raise and I'll call him off."

2pm meet your Creator

'Why can't we go on a field trip to heaven?

Exit. I never get tired of watching them fall for that.

'He doesn't talk to me anymore.'

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

"Spent the first five years in Hell. I didn't sell my soul, I leased it."

'I need enough for popcorn and a movie.'

St Peter: 'The bike can stay. You, on the other hand, aren't on the list.'