Allergy Aristocrat Pillows

"How was I supposed to know she was allergic?"

'Dang! I never now if the sommelier is messing with me.'

'You seem rather ungrateful Mr. Jenkins. This new drug means you'll never have hayfever again.'

Allergy Information: May contain traces of nuts, soya, child bones.

"The Duke and Duchess of A.T. & T., the Count and Countess of Citicorp, the Earl of Exxon, and the Marchioness of Avco. The Duke of Warnaco..."

"I can't have anything that's a food."

'I just came back from the allergist. I'm allergic to life.'

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

'You see, I'm allergic to dog dander....'

Man sneezes and blows flowers out of painting.

Protecting Nature

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

"Darling, a rather uncomfortable distance has developed between me and the furniture."

The Inverted Nose: Genetic engineering's answer to the sniffles.

'If that's true, if you've really done it, I can say unequivocally, that is indeed...Nothing to sneeze at!'

"The gluten's back. And it's pissed."

"Dad's allergies kicked in during out special 'man to man' walk...so I learned all about the birds and the sneeze."

"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust, pollen to pollen, mold to mold..." "He was allergic to everything."

'Oh I can't stay here, i'm allergic to shell fish.'

Asthma cats

'Look - there's the first swallow of summer.'

'I have allergies, so before I can eat you, I need to know if you contain traces of nuts...'

'Help! I'm a coeliac get me out of here!'

'I stopped to smell the flowers. Where's my inhaler?'

Bless You.

Peanut Butter Warning: Contains Peanuts.

'Darling, I'll have my coffee in my den...'

'Strawberries give me the hives. How about an apple?'

'I'm allergic to sand.'

"That'll beat the hayfever but it may affect your all-over tan."

I'll trade you a gluten-Free Sandwich for lactose-free milk.

'I'm lactose intolerant, gluten intolerant, vegan and allergic to tomatoes...what have you got that's good?'

"I was a late bloomer—I didn't inherit my money until my fifties."

'Strawberries give me the hives. How about an apple?'