Alien Humor Lover Pillows

Toilets for Men, Women and Aliens.

"I'd like to abduct a Vodka Martini."

"'I don't want war'. . . well, wither our translation program is broke or this president has a strange kind of humor!"

Outer Space Outsourcing

"Something very big buried a lot of bones here."

"Look what I found, dad!"

"Houston, we have a problem."

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

"Everything tastes better when it's cooked on the grill."

"The space aliens who abducted me wanted to know what it was like to be loved...I wasted no time."

"Would you relax? They never look up."

'Oh, nothing's wrong -- I just expected Earthlings to be taller, that's all.'

Friends and enemies of the Earth.

'I suppose you'll use this as an excuse for turning in your homework in late again.'

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

dog vs UFO...

How am I abducting?

Save Our Universe

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

'Excuse me could you please direct me to the nearest toilet?'

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

'It's good to be here. We're having economic problems where we come from.'

'You caught it, you gut it!'

Standard endings for sci-fi movies...

"If you lied about where you are from, what else have you lied about?"

"Do you think there's intellegent life in there?"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

"Cthulhus, sir. Thousands of 'em."

"Before vaporizing this one, we need to file an environmental impact report."

"The inhabitants of Pluto today declared Earth not a planet..."

* Let's stop here, they seem nice!

Alien uses astronaut's visor as TV to watch news.

"They look like pickles."