Alcohol-free Trailblazer T-Shirts

Tee-totalitarian

The experienced backpacker.

"Again? This is the last time I'm letting you wear the pants with the little zipper."

'This is a good time to be young, son. Look at all the opportunities you have in front of you...you can help sole the problems of the environment, poverty,civil rights....'

"Love the bag, Stell! Very career."

"Wow, listen to that: "Do you have a pioneer spirit? Wolves needed for reintroduction into European National Parks"..."

'Well,we had a good run.' - Worldwide Hops Shortage.

"I don'y know about you guys, but I don't feel like I've lost one goddamn bit of my feminity."

"Why would anyone question her abilities..."

"Wow! More record-breaking temps!! 557th day in a row!"

"We sell beer, but it's non-alcoholic."

Introducing Brocco. The world's first broccoli-flavored liqueur!

'Have you ever had that creepy feeling that you're being followed?'

Toad roadkill.

"What the ... this is rootbeer."

Sex Equality

"One day, Dad, can I go backpacking?"

Thug takes dog badger baiting with 'Set Nav'.

'No need to worry about the volcano - it's not very active.'

"Looks like you're not the only one wearing impractical shoes in the woods."

'YOU again?'

Please Note: The farmer allows the crossing of his field for free but...the bull charges!

"Can't keep away, eh...?"

"They say she likes to teach dangerously. No assigned seats, partners or collateral required for her pencils. She's going completely rogue."

Wind power for cars.

"Oh, Are you still networking?"

'Non-alcoholic wines? Aisle 7, on the left - just keep shoveling dust 'til you hit them.'

Small child advocating teetotalism to his grandfather

"Oh my, I've gotten flowers from other dates before. . . but this is the first Cactus I've ever gotten, Millard!"

"It's organ-ic!"

Treasury Department walking holiday.

Worried about offshore oil spills, some oil companies are testing out new inshore drilling rigs.

'Whoa, whoa lady take the long way home.'

"I'm in the market for an easier religion."